i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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