so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
