pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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