She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I think my fart just growled at me.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize