I think my fart just growled at me.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
