At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
