So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
