I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
