I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
