I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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