i was rollin on her like bob the builder
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
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We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
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