Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
