Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize