i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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