i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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