oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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