I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
