She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
