I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
