There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Randomize