This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
