I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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