I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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