ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
It was like getting head from an anaconda
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
