CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
