Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
