my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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