Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
