So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
