I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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