Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
