I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
