ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
