The maid of honor just puked.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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