He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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