Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
