I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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