That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize