You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
He told me they were just razor bumps!
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
