wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
