is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
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I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
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Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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