I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
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But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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