I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
