that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
