We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
