he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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