so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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