Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
