If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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