32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
