awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Randomize
