am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
