I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
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fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
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I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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