May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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