I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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