It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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