IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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