When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
