I wannas sexs uuuuu
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
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