I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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