idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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