Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
