Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
