Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this boner is exhausting
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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