listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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