Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
so let's talk penis.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Someone signed my nipple.
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