if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
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